At the end of July I was getting really excited about blogging. I had all of these ideas for blogs and they were going to be so good. I was convinced that I was going to do BEDA again (blog every day in August, this time), and then something happened. Summer happened. For some reason all of the everything always happens in the summer. Even though everyone is still working the same as in winter, and all my school friends are still spread out around the planet, this summer ended up being weirdly busy. It’s like we Canadians are making up for ages of winter hibernating by shoving a year’s worth of a social life into the summer months.
I’m in this weird place in my life where I feel like I’m doing a lot, but I’m actually not heading anywhere. I’ve heard that the first years out of college are some of the hardest of your life. I believe it, but I don’t think things really get easier as time goes on, just different. I had this whole section written out about how life changes and sucks through every period of your life, but it got really depressing. My point is that you have crazy hard things to deal with all the time, and you can’t just keep thinking things will be better and perfect one day because they aren’t. And that’s not a bad thing, it’s just life.
It took me a long time to realize that. It seems like a kind of obvious thing, seeing it in writing there, but it’s something that’s harder to come to terms with than it is to say. I spent a long time thinking that things will get better. Once I change schools/get out of high school/figure out what I want to do with my life/get a real job, then things will be perfect, then things will stop being so hard. I have to learn to revel in the struggle, because I can still be happy even when things suck.