Not Finished

I am going to write a blog again. I realise I have to address the whole To-Do List thing, and I will, but later because I have something else on my mind that I want to write about so I am going to write about Something Else and pretend that I didn’t fail at my project to not fail at things.

Sometimes things just keep popping up around your life and you can’t really tell why. Maybe it’s not even that these somehow unrelated things keep talking about the same thing, but the fact that you keep finding metaphorical resonance based on the thing that you’re thinking about. I don’t know. Whatever it is, there’s something that keeps popping up this week that I’ve had Thoughts about.

People seem to have a lot to say about teenagers and young adults and how they’re Not Done Growing Yet. Usually these words of wisdom come from adults who are all done growing up and now of course know everything there is to know about it. Usually the sentiment goes along the lines of; it’s okay if you don’t have everything figured out because you’re Not Finished Yet. You’re not the person you’re eventually going to grow up to be, and so you are allowed to make mistakes and focus on yourself. Which is, you know, a great sentiment, except for the fact that I think it’s kind of bullshit.

This whole You’re Not Done Yet thing completely undermines the humanness of growing up. Absolutely, when you’re a teenager or a young adult you aren’t the person you’re going to end up being, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t a person yet. Young people are people too. It’s true that when you’re growing up you need time to figure things out, but I think the whole notion of being ‘Done’ is a stupid one. People are constantly changing. You don’t suddenly hit a point in you’re life where you say “Oh, I’m thirty now, I think I’m Done figuring out who I’m going to be, and now I will Stay The Same Forever”. It doesn’t work that way.

My point being, you can’t simplify things just to fix your problem or make yourself feel better. Life is complicated, and you just kind of have to muddle through it no matter how old you are. This is the advice I would give to my teenager if I ever had kids. (Maybe this is why I would probably make a terrible mother and will not ever have kids.)

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About Lananification

I'm a twenty-something Canadian trying to figure out what it means to be an "adult". I've recently moved to England to try to be an adult in a different country. It is just as hard. My Wanderings are travel blogs; sometimes I travel, and lots of times I write about it. My Meanderings are thoughts from this crazy, random head of mine. Songs and Reasons Why happens when I pick a song that means a lot to me, and tell you why, and then let you listen to it. In 2013 I wrote a blog every day for the whole year, minus a couple. Check those out in the BEDAY tag if you want.
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6 Responses to Not Finished

  1. Bethany says:

    Good points! I do think, however, that there is a difference between muddling through life, and making mistakes and learning from them. To me, “muddling through” makes it sound like decisions are not being made, and lessons are not being learned from failed attempts. But when we seriously consider the big decisions in life, we can still grow through them when we fail. Then it becomes less of an indifference (like, ‘oh well I made a mistake’) and more of a conscious decision (like ‘oops, let’s try this again, but differently’). I have no idea if that makes sense…and I think we might be saying the same thing….but those are my thoughts!

    • Yes, you’re right. But I think mainly my point was that just because you make mistakes, doesn’t make your opinion any less valid. It’s kind of dismissive, the “you’re not done yet” mentality,

  2. Elisha says:

    Who is telling you this?

  3. Elisha says:

    “Usually these words of wisdom come from adults who are all done growing up and now of course know everything there is to know about it. Usually the sentiment goes along the lines of; it’s okay if you don’t have everything figured out because you’re Not Finished Yet. You’re not the person you’re eventually going to grow up to be, and so you are allowed to make mistakes and focus on yourself. “

    • I never said I was getting these comments specifically directed at me. I also said that things kept popping up around me. I’d been seeing them in movies and tv shows and YouTube videos and Facebook comments.

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