I spent today doing my absolute best to get over my bad mood, and I think I have at last succeeded. I decided to wear a dress and do my hair nice because feeling like I look nice makes me feel better, and I finally got around to cleaning my disaster of a room which they say is like cleaning your heart, and I ate more healthily than I have been lately which was a good decision, and I spent the day with Ashley which was a great one. I use this preface because I am going to focus on some negative things now, in a hopefully light-hearted and amusing way, but I don’t want to give out the impression that yesterday’s bad mood post is in any way related to this one.
Sometimes things just bug you. Everyone has little things that irk them, they are things that you can deal with, but they just pester you, like these things just coming up and poking you right in that spot just under your ribs until you break and scream at someone. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with letting these things bother you, but it is important to know what they are, so if you find yourself bothered, you can tell yourself that it’s not the person you are mad at, just the thing they are doing. Here are some of mine.
1. “Alot” and “would of”
I am the kind of person who is easily bothered by grammatical mistakes. I’m the kind of person who keeps track of when to use “who” and when to use “whom”, among other things. (Though I am not perfect, as I proved by ending a sentence with a preposition in one of my recent blogs, as my sister so lovingly pointed out to me.) But these two mistakes are the ones that really bother me, because to me they are so obvious. A lot is two words because “lot” is a description of a group of things, so when you are saying that there is a large group of beer cans, there is a lot of beer cans. It is not, as Allie Brosh of Hyperbole and a Half suggested, a mythical hairy beast that is made up of beer cans. Would of (or could of, should of, etc.) is almost worse, because if you look at what you are writing, there is no possible way to convince yourself that it makes sense. Would’ve is a contraction of would have, and so when people type “would of” they are typing what they think they are saying when they speak it aloud, even though those words shouldn’t go together, ever.
2. Forcing your kids to interact with me
Now, first off, I do not easily interact with children. Some of them are okay, but I need to know who’s kids they are, and I need to be in the kind of mood where I can interact with them of my own accord in order to be comfortable. I don’t know why, but kids put me on edge, so yeah, if your child runs in front of me and I almost knock them over, I will probably scowl at them. I don’t mean to, it’s just an involuntary reaction. I do not hate your child, nor am I a terrible person for not wanting them to be running around in a Walmart. Most of the time though, I will get over it, and I might even smile at them. But if you then force your kid to go over an apologize to me, that puts me in a position to have to know what to say, and I do not know what to say, because I don’t interact with children very well. So please, don’t force your kid to say hello to me if I am just standing there, and don’t force them to ask me questions, and don’t force them to apologize to me. If I want to talk to your kid, I will come over and talk to you first. Because that is how adults do things.
3. People who believe everything the internet tells them
I’ve gone over this, so I won’t elaborate. Just do your damned research. Google is not hard. Use it.
(I’ve figured out a way to take this annoyance and make it funny. It is called trolling people on Facebook by convincing them things you make up. It is one of my favourite pastimes now.)
4. Putting things in the sink when I’m using it
This is a weird one, but when I’m doing the dishes, I have the pile of dishes to on the counter beside the sink, and then I wash them and put them in the other sink, and I do not like having more than one thing in the sink at a time. I don’t know why this bugs me, but if people come by and put a knife or something into the sink and it sinks to the bottom, then I can’t find it. That’s the only reason I can think for why this bugs me so much. It is weird, but whatever that’s me.
5. When people comment on what I put in my tea
Tea (or coffee, which I don’t drink as much but this still applies) is a very personal thing. Everyone drinks their tea differently, sugar, milk, whatever. So when I decide that I want my tea particularly milky because I don’t like to drink it scalding hot, and someone comments about whether I would like some tea with my milk, I get this little annoyance twinge. I don’t tell you that you shouldn’t put so much salt on your french fries, so don’t comment on how much sugar I put in my tea. That is my decision. Not yours.
Okay, that was way more therapeutic than I expected it to be. I suggest you try it, share a pet peeve rant, it is very cathartic.