People are Complicated :: Beday 295

I’ve got a million things on my mind right now. Just swirling away in there and I feel like I couldn’t possibly put them all into words even though that’s the point of blogging every day for a whole entire year.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how we portray ourselves to other people. Like, when I first meet people I want them to see me as a certain thing, depending on what the circumstances are. Most of the time I lean toward wanting people to see me as an intellectual, but that train of thought got me into this rut in which I became this really horrible pretentious person and so I tried to stray away from that. I use less big words when first meeting people, I try not to go on tangents about stuff, but really that’s who I am. How long does it take, should it take before I reveal to people that I am overly enthusiastic about stuff. I can go on tangents for hours about music and literature and art and as long as it’s not a one sided conversation, that doesn’t have to be pretentious.

It’s so difficult, getting to that point with someone where you drop the pretence and just be yourselves. Yes, I’m intellectual, but I’m also really childish. I like lyrical and dreary music and I also like Katy Perry. I like Woody Allen and I like chick flicks. I laugh at dirty jokes sometimes, and sometimes I just like to dance for no reason. That’s me. What’s also me; today I called in sick to work and I’m tired and my uterus hurts and so does my head. I didn’t do my hair today and I smell really bad.

I’m so sick of that beginning part. The part where you have to pretend that you’re perfect, or the part where you see everything you wish someone had and forget that they’re real. I see so many people in places where they can just be accepted for who they are, fuck ups and all and I just want that.

Maybe I just need a hug.

Advertisements

About Lananification

I'm a twenty-something Canadian trying to figure out what it means to be an "adult". I've recently moved to England to try to be an adult in a different country. It is just as hard. My Wanderings are travel blogs; sometimes I travel, and lots of times I write about it. My Meanderings are thoughts from this crazy, random head of mine. Songs and Reasons Why happens when I pick a song that means a lot to me, and tell you why, and then let you listen to it. In 2013 I wrote a blog every day for the whole year, minus a couple. Check those out in the BEDAY tag if you want.
This entry was posted in Meanderings and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to People are Complicated :: Beday 295

  1. Carolyn says:

    I don’t really see that much of a difference from when I met you to now, just that I know you better now. I say just be yourself always…people will like you! Plus, here is a big hug!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s